Being lied to or somebody not telling the whole truth is not very pleasant and can land us into a whole heap of trouble in the worse case scenario. So wouldn’t it be helpful if we could tell the lies from the truths?
How much help would it be if we could back up our gut feelings that we aren’t getting the truth with some evidence?
It must be stressed here that the following are rough guidelines only and do not provide concrete evidence. If only one sign is detected there is no proof of a lie. Two signals may be an indication. Three or more strengthens the case that you may be being lied to.
Negative Evaluation Postures
The touching of the ears or nose whilst answering a question. In a negative situation the blood capillaries of the nose contract thus giving an urge to scratch it. Somebody who is lying and feels uncomfortable about it will feel in a negative situation.
The palms of the hands are rarely shown when somebody is not telling the truth. Open palms indicate honesty and truthfulness so palms facing down or placed in pockets are likely to show the opposite.
The back is likely to be bent or slouched when accompanying a lie. A confident person stands and walks with a straight back and head held high. To a person unused to lying, this negative situation is probably going to drain the confidence from him/her.
Inconsistencies in the Story
The more often a story is asked to be relayed the more likely a lie will be exposed. The adding or subtracting of elements of the story is an indication of fabrication of the truth. A story can sometimes dramatically change when there is something to be covered up.
Feeling Anxious
Although not conclusive evidence, feeling anxious when answering a question could be a sign that the truth is not being told. Signs that somebody is feeling anxious are biting of finger nails, fidgeting, tapping heels repeatedly or nervously on the floor, tapping fingers or hands on lap, sweating, whistling and jiggling things in pockets.
Eye Contact
Eye contact is normally much weaker. Eye contact shows interest in what is being heard. It also shows respect. 100% eye contact normally proves uncomfortable to both people involved in a conversation. Normal eye contact happens for about 70 – 80 % of a conversation. Sometimes looking directly into somebody’s eyes is a little disconcerting. Looking at the nose or the middle of the mouth still gives the impression of looking into the eyes. Looking just above the eyes when giving an order shows authority and leadership.
Somebody who looks around rather than into your eyes may be holding back the truth.
Eye Accessing Clue
This is a very interesting area of study which needs a whole article by itself to give it justice. But briefly the direction of the eyes give clues as to how a person may be thinking and if the direction of the eye conflicts with an answer this could be saying something about the validity of that answer. This is not an exact science and a lot of caution has to be used with this method but an article at a later date would prove very useful.
Other Clues
Avoiding the Subject. Somebody who has something to hide will invariably avoid the subject in any given conversation. Skirt around the subject in conversation and notice if the other person tries to move away from the subject completely.
Lack of Assertiveness. This usually manifests itself in a lower voice tone and an appearance of low self confidence in somebody not used to lying.
Speaking Slowly. Somebody who is lying will quite possibly speak slower than usual. If they are making things up as they go along, speaking more slowly gives them greater time to think.
These are some of the indications that somebody may not be being totally honest with you. Although it will not provide hard evidence it could well give you the idea that you should be wary of what is being said.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
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