Are you feeling full of inspiration and motivation?
No!! Then perhaps you aren’t happy.
What is happiness?
What makes us happy, confident and bubbling with self esteem?
How can we be happy?
Happiness is the feeling we get when the body releases the hormone Serotonin. This hormone helps to prevent depression, raises our spirits and provides us with energy. Exposure to sunlight is a great way of increasing levels of Serotonin which is why so many people feel bright and happy during the hot, sunny days of summer and consequently feel far more miserable during the cold, dark days of winter. Many people comfort eat to make them selves feel happier. This is not surprising when it is known that carbohydrates, protein and famously chocolate raises levels of Serotonin within the body.
With regards to nutrition and a healthy way of living, vitamins B and C plus exercise all increase the “happy hormone”, which probably explains why exercise can sometimes feel like a chore but after completing a workout there is an overwhelming mood of exhilaration.
Do you deserve to be happy?
If the answer is no, your belief system is telling you that you and happiness don’t belong together.
But why should anybody feel this way?
This belief needs to be challenged. Look around you at all those successful and happy people. Do they deserve to be happy?
They, like us all, have made mistakes and probably make many cock ups on a daily basis. Without a doubt some will have cheated, lied or even broken the law. So why should these people deserve happiness any more than you?
Are they really any better a person than you?
If these people believe that they deserve happiness than so should you. God created us to experience joy and abundance and to live our lives to the full. Being depressed and miserable was not his intention.
So what is the definition of happiness?
This has been a question open for debate among many a philosopher. Some believe this is a feeling one gets when everything in life is as it should be. Others express it as the feeling you get when you achieve a goal. The problem with viewing it this way is that happiness can be very short lived. Once a goal has been reached the feeling of happiness wears off when the next target presents itself.
My favourite definition is that of inner peace. Once inner peace has been experienced, it can last forever despite all the problems that manifest themselves as time goes on. The word contentment springs to mind at this point.
Happiness is a perspective dependant on ones emotion. What makes one person happy will not necessarily make the next man happy. So how can we make ourselves happy?
The mind can only experience one emotion at a time. If we are stressed we cannot be happy. If we are depressed we cannot be full of motivation and inspiration. Happiness is the absence of bad emotions. Identify the bad emotions we feel and try to substitute them with feelings of self confidence and positive ness. Happiness and self esteem will shortly follow.
Know what it is that makes you happy. Once this has been identified, visualise it, believe that you can have it and make great strides to achieve it.
Strive to create a feeling of optimism. When problems and obstacles have to be overcome, self confidence, positive thinking and optimism are fantastic tools to help you hurdle over those barriers.
Without getting to deep, religion is a tremendous source of happiness. The belief in a higher power that is there to assist in all our problems gives great strength to our optimism, hope and happiness.
Have a purpose in life. By having something to get up for in the mornings, and then achieving our purposes, again boosts self esteem, confidence and happiness.
Undoubtedly having deep and meaningful relationships is a great source of happiness. We all have the need to be wanted and finding a loving partner and family provides so much joy. And when there are times of trouble, sharing these woes with another certainly halves the burden.
Ultimately happiness comes from within. If you can be happy and contented despite all life’s problems then you have truly found happiness. If you can enjoy everything that surrounds you then congratulations, you are a happy and contented man (woman).
Finding happiness is a great target to aim for. Happiness lies at the heart of inspiration, motivation, self esteem and self confidence.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Friday, 9 January 2009
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Improve Your Life by Being an Inspiration to Others Using Optimism
How many people can be described as optimistic?
What is optimism and how can it play an important role in our thoughts and successes?
Can optimism increase our self esteem, confidence and improve our motivation?
Optimism can be defined as a positive approach to life, always having an upbeat attitude that places us in the right position to achieve success. An optimist will believe that things will always turn out great despite the tough times that life throws up from time to time. Optimism cushions us from despair and hopelessness when the going gets tough.
Optimism has been defined by Martin Seligman, author of many books on this subject, by how we see events, using the three dimensions internal/external, permanent/temporary and pervasive/specific. An optimist will credit him/herself for the good times (internal), believing the good times will last (permanent) and these will affect other parts of their lives (pervasive). When the going does get tough, an optimist puts this down to circumstances outside of their control (external), the problems won’t last (temporary) and they only affect this particular situation (specific).
The pessimist on the other hand will see things in totally the reverse.
An optimist will see a life full of abundance. They will see a glass as being half full whilst the pessimist will see it as being half empty.
Self esteem can very much determine whether or not we are optimists. If we truly believe we are worthwhile people who deserve happiness and abundance we will see the world in a positive light. We will view ourselves positively as well.
If we fail to get that promotion we were after we say to ourselves,
“I don’t have the skills that they were looking for yet, but I know that if I study and practice I will develop those skills and be better placed next time.”
By saying “I’m not good enough, perhaps I’m not cut out for promotion” is very much the attitude of the pessimist. Pessimists blame themselves when things don’t happen the way they would like and then give up when the hard times come around.
Like many traits in our personality, optimism/pessimism is determined in our early years by our temperament and how we react to events as we go through life, influenced by our environment, family, peers and our education. However, optimism can be learned and a tendency towards pessimism can be overturned.
Just one technique is to catch ourselves when thinking negatively and focus on a more positive view.
“I’m rubbish at playing squash, I’m going to give up playing” can be turned into “I can easily enjoy squash without having to be perfect at it”.
Many of the most successful people are optimists, achieving great things because they have confidence in themselves and believe that they deserve happiness and abundance. Optimism gives them the motivation to go out and succeed and their optimism is an inspiration to so many others.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
What is optimism and how can it play an important role in our thoughts and successes?
Can optimism increase our self esteem, confidence and improve our motivation?
Optimism can be defined as a positive approach to life, always having an upbeat attitude that places us in the right position to achieve success. An optimist will believe that things will always turn out great despite the tough times that life throws up from time to time. Optimism cushions us from despair and hopelessness when the going gets tough.
Optimism has been defined by Martin Seligman, author of many books on this subject, by how we see events, using the three dimensions internal/external, permanent/temporary and pervasive/specific. An optimist will credit him/herself for the good times (internal), believing the good times will last (permanent) and these will affect other parts of their lives (pervasive). When the going does get tough, an optimist puts this down to circumstances outside of their control (external), the problems won’t last (temporary) and they only affect this particular situation (specific).
The pessimist on the other hand will see things in totally the reverse.
An optimist will see a life full of abundance. They will see a glass as being half full whilst the pessimist will see it as being half empty.
Self esteem can very much determine whether or not we are optimists. If we truly believe we are worthwhile people who deserve happiness and abundance we will see the world in a positive light. We will view ourselves positively as well.
If we fail to get that promotion we were after we say to ourselves,
“I don’t have the skills that they were looking for yet, but I know that if I study and practice I will develop those skills and be better placed next time.”
By saying “I’m not good enough, perhaps I’m not cut out for promotion” is very much the attitude of the pessimist. Pessimists blame themselves when things don’t happen the way they would like and then give up when the hard times come around.
Like many traits in our personality, optimism/pessimism is determined in our early years by our temperament and how we react to events as we go through life, influenced by our environment, family, peers and our education. However, optimism can be learned and a tendency towards pessimism can be overturned.
Just one technique is to catch ourselves when thinking negatively and focus on a more positive view.
“I’m rubbish at playing squash, I’m going to give up playing” can be turned into “I can easily enjoy squash without having to be perfect at it”.
Many of the most successful people are optimists, achieving great things because they have confidence in themselves and believe that they deserve happiness and abundance. Optimism gives them the motivation to go out and succeed and their optimism is an inspiration to so many others.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
It in the Eyes You Know
In the last article the eyes were mentioned as being a possible give away if somebody is being less than honest with you. So what are the tell tale signs that the eyes may give?
There are links between the way somebody might be thinking and the direction their eyes will go. There are six directions in which the eyes will move whilst that person is in thought. Upper left, upper right, middle left, middle right, lower left and lower right.
So what do the differing directions indicate?
The following is an illustration for a right handed person.
Upper left is for visual construction. This indicates that a person is constructing a visual image.
Upper right is for visual memory. This indicates that a person is remembering a visual image.
Middle left is for auditory construction. This is an indication that our person being observed is constructing a sound.
Middle right is for auditory memory. This indicates that the person is remembering a sound.
Lower left is for Kinetics. This will mean that our person is remembering feelings.
Lower right is for auditory digital. Our person in question is talking to him/herself.
To give an example. A person can be asked the colour of their car. The eyes should go to the upper right, remembering the colour of that car. If the eyes go to the upper left then they are constructing a colour rather than remembering it therefore could quite possibly be making up an answer.
Now for the caution. Having described all this, it is not the most reliable of methods. These are some of the reasons why this method could let you down.
The person is left handed. If this is the case the eye direction should be reversed.
There are some people when trying to remember will manage to keep their eye direction in the middle.
Other people may focus and refocus their eyes when remembering and their eyes will move in any direction.
The mind is a superior device with hundreds of thoughts passing through at any one time. The eyes could therefore move in any direction dependant on the thoughts.
Although not fool proof, this method of detecting if you are getting the truth from someone is a worthwhile exercise and may be able to help you read that persons mind.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
There are links between the way somebody might be thinking and the direction their eyes will go. There are six directions in which the eyes will move whilst that person is in thought. Upper left, upper right, middle left, middle right, lower left and lower right.
So what do the differing directions indicate?
The following is an illustration for a right handed person.
Upper left is for visual construction. This indicates that a person is constructing a visual image.
Upper right is for visual memory. This indicates that a person is remembering a visual image.
Middle left is for auditory construction. This is an indication that our person being observed is constructing a sound.
Middle right is for auditory memory. This indicates that the person is remembering a sound.
Lower left is for Kinetics. This will mean that our person is remembering feelings.
Lower right is for auditory digital. Our person in question is talking to him/herself.
To give an example. A person can be asked the colour of their car. The eyes should go to the upper right, remembering the colour of that car. If the eyes go to the upper left then they are constructing a colour rather than remembering it therefore could quite possibly be making up an answer.
Now for the caution. Having described all this, it is not the most reliable of methods. These are some of the reasons why this method could let you down.
The person is left handed. If this is the case the eye direction should be reversed.
There are some people when trying to remember will manage to keep their eye direction in the middle.
Other people may focus and refocus their eyes when remembering and their eyes will move in any direction.
The mind is a superior device with hundreds of thoughts passing through at any one time. The eyes could therefore move in any direction dependant on the thoughts.
Although not fool proof, this method of detecting if you are getting the truth from someone is a worthwhile exercise and may be able to help you read that persons mind.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Thursday, 1 January 2009
How to Confidently Spot the Untruths
Being lied to or somebody not telling the whole truth is not very pleasant and can land us into a whole heap of trouble in the worse case scenario. So wouldn’t it be helpful if we could tell the lies from the truths?
How much help would it be if we could back up our gut feelings that we aren’t getting the truth with some evidence?
It must be stressed here that the following are rough guidelines only and do not provide concrete evidence. If only one sign is detected there is no proof of a lie. Two signals may be an indication. Three or more strengthens the case that you may be being lied to.
Negative Evaluation Postures
The touching of the ears or nose whilst answering a question. In a negative situation the blood capillaries of the nose contract thus giving an urge to scratch it. Somebody who is lying and feels uncomfortable about it will feel in a negative situation.
The palms of the hands are rarely shown when somebody is not telling the truth. Open palms indicate honesty and truthfulness so palms facing down or placed in pockets are likely to show the opposite.
The back is likely to be bent or slouched when accompanying a lie. A confident person stands and walks with a straight back and head held high. To a person unused to lying, this negative situation is probably going to drain the confidence from him/her.
Inconsistencies in the Story
The more often a story is asked to be relayed the more likely a lie will be exposed. The adding or subtracting of elements of the story is an indication of fabrication of the truth. A story can sometimes dramatically change when there is something to be covered up.
Feeling Anxious
Although not conclusive evidence, feeling anxious when answering a question could be a sign that the truth is not being told. Signs that somebody is feeling anxious are biting of finger nails, fidgeting, tapping heels repeatedly or nervously on the floor, tapping fingers or hands on lap, sweating, whistling and jiggling things in pockets.
Eye Contact
Eye contact is normally much weaker. Eye contact shows interest in what is being heard. It also shows respect. 100% eye contact normally proves uncomfortable to both people involved in a conversation. Normal eye contact happens for about 70 – 80 % of a conversation. Sometimes looking directly into somebody’s eyes is a little disconcerting. Looking at the nose or the middle of the mouth still gives the impression of looking into the eyes. Looking just above the eyes when giving an order shows authority and leadership.
Somebody who looks around rather than into your eyes may be holding back the truth.
Eye Accessing Clue
This is a very interesting area of study which needs a whole article by itself to give it justice. But briefly the direction of the eyes give clues as to how a person may be thinking and if the direction of the eye conflicts with an answer this could be saying something about the validity of that answer. This is not an exact science and a lot of caution has to be used with this method but an article at a later date would prove very useful.
Other Clues
Avoiding the Subject. Somebody who has something to hide will invariably avoid the subject in any given conversation. Skirt around the subject in conversation and notice if the other person tries to move away from the subject completely.
Lack of Assertiveness. This usually manifests itself in a lower voice tone and an appearance of low self confidence in somebody not used to lying.
Speaking Slowly. Somebody who is lying will quite possibly speak slower than usual. If they are making things up as they go along, speaking more slowly gives them greater time to think.
These are some of the indications that somebody may not be being totally honest with you. Although it will not provide hard evidence it could well give you the idea that you should be wary of what is being said.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
How much help would it be if we could back up our gut feelings that we aren’t getting the truth with some evidence?
It must be stressed here that the following are rough guidelines only and do not provide concrete evidence. If only one sign is detected there is no proof of a lie. Two signals may be an indication. Three or more strengthens the case that you may be being lied to.
Negative Evaluation Postures
The touching of the ears or nose whilst answering a question. In a negative situation the blood capillaries of the nose contract thus giving an urge to scratch it. Somebody who is lying and feels uncomfortable about it will feel in a negative situation.
The palms of the hands are rarely shown when somebody is not telling the truth. Open palms indicate honesty and truthfulness so palms facing down or placed in pockets are likely to show the opposite.
The back is likely to be bent or slouched when accompanying a lie. A confident person stands and walks with a straight back and head held high. To a person unused to lying, this negative situation is probably going to drain the confidence from him/her.
Inconsistencies in the Story
The more often a story is asked to be relayed the more likely a lie will be exposed. The adding or subtracting of elements of the story is an indication of fabrication of the truth. A story can sometimes dramatically change when there is something to be covered up.
Feeling Anxious
Although not conclusive evidence, feeling anxious when answering a question could be a sign that the truth is not being told. Signs that somebody is feeling anxious are biting of finger nails, fidgeting, tapping heels repeatedly or nervously on the floor, tapping fingers or hands on lap, sweating, whistling and jiggling things in pockets.
Eye Contact
Eye contact is normally much weaker. Eye contact shows interest in what is being heard. It also shows respect. 100% eye contact normally proves uncomfortable to both people involved in a conversation. Normal eye contact happens for about 70 – 80 % of a conversation. Sometimes looking directly into somebody’s eyes is a little disconcerting. Looking at the nose or the middle of the mouth still gives the impression of looking into the eyes. Looking just above the eyes when giving an order shows authority and leadership.
Somebody who looks around rather than into your eyes may be holding back the truth.
Eye Accessing Clue
This is a very interesting area of study which needs a whole article by itself to give it justice. But briefly the direction of the eyes give clues as to how a person may be thinking and if the direction of the eye conflicts with an answer this could be saying something about the validity of that answer. This is not an exact science and a lot of caution has to be used with this method but an article at a later date would prove very useful.
Other Clues
Avoiding the Subject. Somebody who has something to hide will invariably avoid the subject in any given conversation. Skirt around the subject in conversation and notice if the other person tries to move away from the subject completely.
Lack of Assertiveness. This usually manifests itself in a lower voice tone and an appearance of low self confidence in somebody not used to lying.
Speaking Slowly. Somebody who is lying will quite possibly speak slower than usual. If they are making things up as they go along, speaking more slowly gives them greater time to think.
These are some of the indications that somebody may not be being totally honest with you. Although it will not provide hard evidence it could well give you the idea that you should be wary of what is being said.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Monday, 29 December 2008
Unleash That Belief in Your Self and Create the Magic of Self Confidence
Why is it that some seem to have limited potential?
Why is “the sky’s the limit” for some people and not for others?
Why do some people struggle to get on in life?
Largely it is down to belief. Our core beliefs about ourselves and our confidence determine how we react to life and the circumstances that arise. For many years animals used to be a major attraction in circuses (not so much now thank goodness). The elephant was a star attraction at many of these performances having been tamed from birth. An animal the size of an elephant has the potential to cause chaos if it was able to escape. But as babies they were chained to heavy iron balls making it almost impossible to break free. As time goes on the elephant begins to believe that it is incapable of escaping even once it is released from the burden of that heavy iron ball. The belief system of the elephant is now one of captivity.
Human beings are very much like that baby elephant, weighed down by their false beliefs, beliefs that have been created by unwitting comments of trustworthy people.
We’re too old to learn a new sport. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
I can’t get a decent job. I’m no good for the jobs market.
Nobody gets everything in life.
You have no time for activities once you’re married.
I can’t quit smoking.
I’m never lucky.
Do some of these phrases sound familiar?
Robert and Charles used to play football together. Robert was brought up to believe that you can’t have everything in life that you want. By coincidence they both had an interview for the same job. The job entailed working 12 hours per day, 6 days per week. Robert, believing that he couldn’t have everything in life, took the job and quitted his regular game of football. Charles, on the other hand, decided to decline the job, believing that a position that better suited his schedule would soon come along. Robert gradually became depressed with the situation, and all motivation and inspiration drifted away. He felt that there was something missing in his life and after a year he quit the job.
So many people are held back by false beliefs. They think that they are fine as they are even though they have the ability to advance in life. These people don’t bother to learn new skills’ thinking that this is all life has to offer.
Many others will quit sport or a favourite leisure activity believing that marriage and a career is life consuming; like Robert believing that it is impossible to have everything in life that they want.
How many people do we know that won’t start new relationships, their self confidence destroyed by a previous broken relationship? They somehow believe that they have lost their “soul mate” and will not be suitable for anybody else.
So how does one break away from these false beliefs that are anchoring us down and preventing us from sailing to the port of success?
We must test the opinions of others. If we find ourselves failing to take an exam because someone has said it is too hard, take that exam for yourself. After all, that person is unlikely to have the same skill set as us.
If you are told that a box is too heavy to lift, don’t take that person’s word for it. Go and try it yourself (but be careful not to strain your back in the process. I don’t want the Health and Safety Executive coming down on me).
Henry Ford once said,
“If you think you can do a thing or think that you can’t do a thing, you are right”.
Your beliefs and self confidence will make you the person you want to be. Believe it.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Why is “the sky’s the limit” for some people and not for others?
Why do some people struggle to get on in life?
Largely it is down to belief. Our core beliefs about ourselves and our confidence determine how we react to life and the circumstances that arise. For many years animals used to be a major attraction in circuses (not so much now thank goodness). The elephant was a star attraction at many of these performances having been tamed from birth. An animal the size of an elephant has the potential to cause chaos if it was able to escape. But as babies they were chained to heavy iron balls making it almost impossible to break free. As time goes on the elephant begins to believe that it is incapable of escaping even once it is released from the burden of that heavy iron ball. The belief system of the elephant is now one of captivity.
Human beings are very much like that baby elephant, weighed down by their false beliefs, beliefs that have been created by unwitting comments of trustworthy people.
We’re too old to learn a new sport. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
I can’t get a decent job. I’m no good for the jobs market.
Nobody gets everything in life.
You have no time for activities once you’re married.
I can’t quit smoking.
I’m never lucky.
Do some of these phrases sound familiar?
Robert and Charles used to play football together. Robert was brought up to believe that you can’t have everything in life that you want. By coincidence they both had an interview for the same job. The job entailed working 12 hours per day, 6 days per week. Robert, believing that he couldn’t have everything in life, took the job and quitted his regular game of football. Charles, on the other hand, decided to decline the job, believing that a position that better suited his schedule would soon come along. Robert gradually became depressed with the situation, and all motivation and inspiration drifted away. He felt that there was something missing in his life and after a year he quit the job.
So many people are held back by false beliefs. They think that they are fine as they are even though they have the ability to advance in life. These people don’t bother to learn new skills’ thinking that this is all life has to offer.
Many others will quit sport or a favourite leisure activity believing that marriage and a career is life consuming; like Robert believing that it is impossible to have everything in life that they want.
How many people do we know that won’t start new relationships, their self confidence destroyed by a previous broken relationship? They somehow believe that they have lost their “soul mate” and will not be suitable for anybody else.
So how does one break away from these false beliefs that are anchoring us down and preventing us from sailing to the port of success?
We must test the opinions of others. If we find ourselves failing to take an exam because someone has said it is too hard, take that exam for yourself. After all, that person is unlikely to have the same skill set as us.
If you are told that a box is too heavy to lift, don’t take that person’s word for it. Go and try it yourself (but be careful not to strain your back in the process. I don’t want the Health and Safety Executive coming down on me).
Henry Ford once said,
“If you think you can do a thing or think that you can’t do a thing, you are right”.
Your beliefs and self confidence will make you the person you want to be. Believe it.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Monday, 22 December 2008
How Our Beliefs Can Provide Self Confidence and a Better Life
Self confidence derives from a belief in ourselves and our belief systems. But what are the things that we believe in that give us self confidence and hope?
For some, it is enough to believe in our own abilities, confident that we can find our way over any obstacle and drive on down the road to success. Many more draw comfort from their faiths and religion.
What follows next is not in any way intended to offend but to provide thought and debate. These are my thoughts which have been banded about among friends and I encourage anybody to comment and provide their own thoughts.
I attend church and am actively involved by helping with communion and occasionally conducting readings. I consider myself to be Christian, trying to live my life according to a code of morals that I believe most devout followers of all the main religions would follow too.
Yet there are some elements of the old testament that I struggle to get my head around. The idea that God has created us in his own image fails to resonate with me. I truly believe that a greater force has created us but in his own likeness?
It is easy for me to understand a greater power, our creator. If the big bang theory is to be believed, ie. the whole universe was created by a massive nuclear explosion generated from one single atom, well who or what put that atom there in the first place?
I also struggle to see how the world was created in seven days (six really, as on the seventh day God put his feet up). I have heard it said that each day represents a period of time in the earth’s massive history. One day equals so many millions or billions of years. Yet other Christian religions follow the bible word for word. Where does the truth lie?
Does it really matter?
The fact is that a belief in any religion gives us strength, it gives us hope and it gives us a set of rules by which to lead our lives upon. If we gain self confidence and a belief that we can succeed and rise above all uncertainties and yet still remain true to ourselves, religion must be a good thing mustn’t it?
I feel the danger comes from believing that our religion is right and true above all others. Then it can lead to fundamentalism. The belief that everybody should believe exactly what we believe and condemn those that don’t is surely a recipe for trouble.
In the small town where I live I am proud of the Churches Together initiative. Like minded people gather and talk freely together and work for the benefit of the community. Yet we are free to believe the way in which we want to believe. I don’t proclaim to know much about every main religion but if we all have a belief and a set of moral guidelines on which to follow, there is no reason on earth why we all cannot live in peace with each other.
These are some of my beliefs, beliefs that give me the self confidence and the desire to drive forward on a journey through life that provides success and immense satisfaction. I remember my grandmother saying in her last days.
“I’ve lived a great life and I’m ready to go now”
My intention is to be able to say exactly the same. Through my beliefs, self confidence and energy, I know I will.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
http://www.getselfconfident.com/
For some, it is enough to believe in our own abilities, confident that we can find our way over any obstacle and drive on down the road to success. Many more draw comfort from their faiths and religion.
What follows next is not in any way intended to offend but to provide thought and debate. These are my thoughts which have been banded about among friends and I encourage anybody to comment and provide their own thoughts.
I attend church and am actively involved by helping with communion and occasionally conducting readings. I consider myself to be Christian, trying to live my life according to a code of morals that I believe most devout followers of all the main religions would follow too.
Yet there are some elements of the old testament that I struggle to get my head around. The idea that God has created us in his own image fails to resonate with me. I truly believe that a greater force has created us but in his own likeness?
It is easy for me to understand a greater power, our creator. If the big bang theory is to be believed, ie. the whole universe was created by a massive nuclear explosion generated from one single atom, well who or what put that atom there in the first place?
I also struggle to see how the world was created in seven days (six really, as on the seventh day God put his feet up). I have heard it said that each day represents a period of time in the earth’s massive history. One day equals so many millions or billions of years. Yet other Christian religions follow the bible word for word. Where does the truth lie?
Does it really matter?
The fact is that a belief in any religion gives us strength, it gives us hope and it gives us a set of rules by which to lead our lives upon. If we gain self confidence and a belief that we can succeed and rise above all uncertainties and yet still remain true to ourselves, religion must be a good thing mustn’t it?
I feel the danger comes from believing that our religion is right and true above all others. Then it can lead to fundamentalism. The belief that everybody should believe exactly what we believe and condemn those that don’t is surely a recipe for trouble.
In the small town where I live I am proud of the Churches Together initiative. Like minded people gather and talk freely together and work for the benefit of the community. Yet we are free to believe the way in which we want to believe. I don’t proclaim to know much about every main religion but if we all have a belief and a set of moral guidelines on which to follow, there is no reason on earth why we all cannot live in peace with each other.
These are some of my beliefs, beliefs that give me the self confidence and the desire to drive forward on a journey through life that provides success and immense satisfaction. I remember my grandmother saying in her last days.
“I’ve lived a great life and I’m ready to go now”
My intention is to be able to say exactly the same. Through my beliefs, self confidence and energy, I know I will.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
http://www.getselfconfident.com/
Friday, 12 December 2008
How to Have a Stress Free Life and Regain Your Self Confidence
Stress is very much the big buzz word of today and has been for many years now. It can destroy self confidence and can very much damage our health. Everybody has at some stage suffered from stress and to a small degree it can be a good thing; keeping us on our toes and helping us to progress rather than stagnate.
So what is stress and how do we cope with the excessiveness of it?
I can give you a personal example which shows that I am still fallible despite all my practicing of self confidence techniques.
Just yesterday I had a job to do that didn’t go according to plan. As a water treatment engineer by day I had a part to fit on a plant in Swindon. I had ordered the part but as this was not a retrofit there was some differences which I had not anticipated. Using my many years of engineering experience I managed to overcome the various difficulties despite not getting away from site until 9.30 in the evening and having to return today to finish; time that wasn’t in the budget for the job. Finishing late last night was not a problem, I have worked those hours before. Finishing late today was a problem; I had to be home by 6.00p.m. in order to look after my two boys whilst my wife went off to work.
The M25 was my source of stress like it has been for thousands of poor souls who use that infamous motorway as a regular commute. Miles and then tens of miles of speed restrictions, delays and stop-start traffic slowly but surely boiled my brain until it exploded with a barrage of cussing and swearing pointed in the direction of the heavens. I would like to point out that I regularly go to church so my reaction is definitely something I am not proud of. This lack of control is not a regular occurrence but with the problems of the last two days it just got on top of me. The fact that I am powerless to control the circumstances that I found my self in and the temporary destruction of self confidence just added to the frustration.
When suffering from stress the resources of the mind get locked up and the creative thoughts that are more likely to help any given stressful situation keep themselves buried deep in the mind.
Lots of work or tasks that have to be completed in a short space of time add greatly to the stress levels as does working under pressure for long periods of time. Under conditions like these the smallest of external influences blows that shortening fuse. The kids playing up or screaming in the background get a taste of our sharp tongue (does it sound like I’ve been there and got the tee-shirt?). Then we feel bad about what we have done and this dampens our self confidence.
The answer to this is what then?
A few little tips for you which after today’s experience perhaps I need to practice a little harder with.
Eliminate as much as possible the bad external influences. Noise, an untidy workspace and bad lighting are just some examples.
Time manage where possible. Not always easy I know particularly when emergencies crop up.
On the back of time management, try not to commit to too many things. This allows much better control over our time.
Exercise regularly. Taking the strain off of the mind and placing it on the body does wonders for the mind. The release can be quite noticeable after a good workout or sporting activity, especially if we’ve won. People who exercise regularly suffer less stress as long as they don’t over do it.
Eat healthily. Plenty of fruit and vegetables and no alcohol (I might have a problem with the alcohol bit).
Cut out smoking. Despite what people say, smoking increases stress levels. It is the way in which people breathe when smoking that causes a temporary relaxed state.
This may seem difficult to comprehend but we, in a round about way, choose to be stressed. This is brought about by our subconscious minds. Training our subconscious minds through visualisation and images of being stress free will soon help us cope with life in a far more relaxed manner.
Laughter is said to be one of life’s best medicines. By finding our chuckle buttons and taking life a little less seriously is one of the greatest ways to keep healthy.
Using relaxation techniques as can be found at www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1 allows as more time in the relaxation zone.
Stress in small doses is actually good for us but in larger quantities can be a serious health problem and damaging to self confidence and that all important positive attitude.
For those that are interested, I was 15 minute late and my wife had gotten one of our neighbours to baby-sit for that brief time. Perhaps I should add a good wife to the list of stress relievers above.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
So what is stress and how do we cope with the excessiveness of it?
I can give you a personal example which shows that I am still fallible despite all my practicing of self confidence techniques.
Just yesterday I had a job to do that didn’t go according to plan. As a water treatment engineer by day I had a part to fit on a plant in Swindon. I had ordered the part but as this was not a retrofit there was some differences which I had not anticipated. Using my many years of engineering experience I managed to overcome the various difficulties despite not getting away from site until 9.30 in the evening and having to return today to finish; time that wasn’t in the budget for the job. Finishing late last night was not a problem, I have worked those hours before. Finishing late today was a problem; I had to be home by 6.00p.m. in order to look after my two boys whilst my wife went off to work.
The M25 was my source of stress like it has been for thousands of poor souls who use that infamous motorway as a regular commute. Miles and then tens of miles of speed restrictions, delays and stop-start traffic slowly but surely boiled my brain until it exploded with a barrage of cussing and swearing pointed in the direction of the heavens. I would like to point out that I regularly go to church so my reaction is definitely something I am not proud of. This lack of control is not a regular occurrence but with the problems of the last two days it just got on top of me. The fact that I am powerless to control the circumstances that I found my self in and the temporary destruction of self confidence just added to the frustration.
When suffering from stress the resources of the mind get locked up and the creative thoughts that are more likely to help any given stressful situation keep themselves buried deep in the mind.
Lots of work or tasks that have to be completed in a short space of time add greatly to the stress levels as does working under pressure for long periods of time. Under conditions like these the smallest of external influences blows that shortening fuse. The kids playing up or screaming in the background get a taste of our sharp tongue (does it sound like I’ve been there and got the tee-shirt?). Then we feel bad about what we have done and this dampens our self confidence.
The answer to this is what then?
A few little tips for you which after today’s experience perhaps I need to practice a little harder with.
Eliminate as much as possible the bad external influences. Noise, an untidy workspace and bad lighting are just some examples.
Time manage where possible. Not always easy I know particularly when emergencies crop up.
On the back of time management, try not to commit to too many things. This allows much better control over our time.
Exercise regularly. Taking the strain off of the mind and placing it on the body does wonders for the mind. The release can be quite noticeable after a good workout or sporting activity, especially if we’ve won. People who exercise regularly suffer less stress as long as they don’t over do it.
Eat healthily. Plenty of fruit and vegetables and no alcohol (I might have a problem with the alcohol bit).
Cut out smoking. Despite what people say, smoking increases stress levels. It is the way in which people breathe when smoking that causes a temporary relaxed state.
This may seem difficult to comprehend but we, in a round about way, choose to be stressed. This is brought about by our subconscious minds. Training our subconscious minds through visualisation and images of being stress free will soon help us cope with life in a far more relaxed manner.
Laughter is said to be one of life’s best medicines. By finding our chuckle buttons and taking life a little less seriously is one of the greatest ways to keep healthy.
Using relaxation techniques as can be found at www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1 allows as more time in the relaxation zone.
Stress in small doses is actually good for us but in larger quantities can be a serious health problem and damaging to self confidence and that all important positive attitude.
For those that are interested, I was 15 minute late and my wife had gotten one of our neighbours to baby-sit for that brief time. Perhaps I should add a good wife to the list of stress relievers above.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
