One of the greatest attributes we can possess is optimism. Optimism provides hope and motivation, plus it is a great supporter of self esteem and self confidence. For those that have it, it can provide tremendous inspiration for those that recognise it.
If you are blessed with optimism or you have re-invented yourself to view life optimistically, there is no doubt that to secrete some of your optimism into others is a satisfying and rewarding thing to do. Helping somebody with a negative outlook on a particular subject by gently and patiently getting them to view the positive side can really set the heart aglow.
So how do you get somebody to re-frame their outlook?
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Firstly you must listen. Barging in with positive comments straight away will show a total lack of empathy. To be told right at the beginning “never mind, it could be worse” will make the recipient believe that his/her feelings are worthless and pointless and less likely to turn to you for advice in the future.
There is a place where “never mind, it could be worse” fits in but this is more appropriate when you are turning the situation around. You must also have examples as to how “it could be worse”
Try to show understanding about the persons feelings. A correctly placed “that must be really hard for you” will start to win you over. Don’t knock the persons point of view or fault them for feeling the way they do.
Explore the worst case scenario with them.
What is the worst that is likely to happen if the situation is indeed that bad?
It is going to be an extreme disaster zone if they are not going to be O.K. at the end of it.
Then explore some of the more positive aspects of the situation. With just a little prompting, the person is quite possibly going to suggest these to you. By doing this they are automatically developing a more positive mind set. They start to smile and you can see some sparkle and energy in their eyes.
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Sometimes, no matter how much you try to help somebody see things in a different and more positive light, that person doesn’t seem to be taking on board your words. As much as resilience is another admirable quality to have, there is no point in “flogging a dead horse”. Some people are content to wallow in their misery and negativity. If, after three attempts you haven’t been able to instil a bit of hope in that person, perhaps you need to leave this one alone. This may sound unkind but there is a distinct possibility that they will pass on their negative feelings to you and you end up loosing your motivation and inspiration.
Optimism and hope provides a great deal of motivation, inspiration, self esteem and self confidence. Share this with others and reap the rewards.
Terry Norrington
http://140020.successuniversity.com/new
http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index.htm#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
www.2knowmyself.com
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