Despite the severity of any given circumstance, finding the positive angle in these situations does wonders for our self confidence, creates tremendous self esteem and provides the necessary motivation for us to overcome the hurdle. This aids us in gaining control of the situation thus reducing stress and helping to form a sense of well-being.
How then are we able to take anything positive from a dire event?
There is a technique called “reframing”.
Try removing the frame from a much loved picture. Now place a completely different style of frame around that picture. Although the picture is still the same it appears different. Perhaps another part of the picture stands out more or maybe the mood created by the image changes in some way. Whatever it may be, it is not the same picture. The likelihood is that we will have created a greater appreciation of the original frame.
In any given situation, altering the frame of reference gives us a realisation of the negative aspects and armed with this new realisation, we are able build a more positive and confident attitude to a difficult problem.
There are two steps to reframing that we should follow if we want to view a negative circumstance with greater optimism.
Understand the original frame. Ask ourselves, how do we feel about the situation we find ourselves in? Are we angry or desperate, frustrated even? What do we feel like doing about the position we find ourselves in?
Create a new frame to find positive aspects of where we find ourselves so we can vastly improve our motivation and change the situation.
We can use the example of having missed the train. The negative stance would be something like,
“What an idiot I am. I should have walked faster then I wouldn’t have missed it. Now I’m going to be really late home”.
Reframing it to give the situation the positive view point could be,
“Hey ho, never mind. Now I’ve got time to buy the wife’s birthday card and then grab a coffee and chill out”.
Always try to look for the blessings in disguise and this will enhance our self esteem so much. The way of looking at the more dramatic circumstance of losing our jobs with more optimism maybe,
“Well at least I will have more time to spend with my family. I can even use the time to retrain for a different career”.
Concentrating on a solution rather than the problem is another terrific way of reframing a situation. Take the example of a roof leaking.
The negative stance is,
“My roof leaks, now I’m going to get water everywhere”.
“Replace the tile and the leak is mended”, is the positive view and is also finding the solution.
By saying,
“My job is really stressful, I don’t know how I’m going to get over all these problems”, is looking at the problem.
“My job is really interesting. Overcome all these problems and I can really prove my worth”, is trying to find solutions and really helps to provide the motivation to take on what has now become a challenge.
Using common phrases helps to create positive ness and confidence.
“It could be worse”.
“Everything happens for a reason”.
“It’s only money. Other people have far greater problems”.
These are typical illustrations of phrases that we can use to promote optimism in hard times.
To take something positive from traumatic events such as a life threatening illness or bereavement may seem like a tall order. But salvaging something positive from such difficult times creates the inspiration to carry on and get on with life. To see these events as being part of the bigger picture gives us a reason to move forward. Having a deep conviction in faith and religion, thus holding on to our spirituality can certainly be another reassuring quality that helps get us through the most trying of circumstances.
Reframing may not necessarily make every picture seem like an image of roses, but it will provide acceptance. It also helps us to learn from the most traumatic of experiences.
Optimism, self esteem, confidence, motivation and inspiration can certainly be drawn from viewing situations in a positive light.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Friday 23 January 2009
Tuesday 20 January 2009
Greatly Improve Your Self Esteem Through Your Subconscious Mind
All our emotions such as optimism, self esteem, motivation, inspiration and confidence are triggered from our subconscious mind. This mysterious and magical part of the brain has so much effect on our everyday lives and yet we hardly know much about it and how it works.
So what is the subconscious mind and how does it affect us, our optimism and self confidence so much?
The subconscious mind could be viewed as the storage space for everything not currently taking space in the conscious mind. It stores memories, life experiences, skills, our belief system and all images ever seen.
When faced with any given situation, the subconscious mind triggers appropriate emotions based upon previous life experiences. Upon placing ourselves in danger, fear and anxiety kick in, triggered from the subconscious mind.
Learning to drive is a terrific example of learned skills being stored in the subconscious mind. When first learning to drive and confidence is in short supply, the conscious mind forces us to concentrate with every gear change, turn of the steering wheel and application of the brakes being a deliberate action. Once the driving test is out of the way these actions are passed from the conscious mind to the subconscious part of the brain and confidence and self esteem make driving an automatic process. The conscious mind is free to focus on other things. How many times have we driven from A to B and not been able to remember the journey?
Through the conscious mind we are able to control logic, thought and calculation. The subconscious mind however controls automatic, life sustaining processes such as the heart beat and breathing. Try concentrating for one minute on our breathing. This proves relatively easy as we control the depth and frequencies of each breath. Remove the focus and still we find that we breathe quite naturally.
When we learn a skill such as driving it is like programming a computer. Our subconscious mind is the computer and the driving skill is the software. Emotions are equally like software. If somebody shouts at us aggressively, our subconscious mind reaches for the anger software. Yet this particular computer can be reprogrammed to accept different software so long as the subconscious mind is still protecting our emotional well-being. In the face of aggressive action the subconscious can be programmed to respond calmly yet focussed in order to deal with the situation in the most rational manner possible.
Reprogramming the subconscious mind can be done through hypnosis and constant repetition without logic ever playing a part. Constant repetition of an argument can alter somebody’s point of view despite the absence of logic.
As the body defends against physical wounds and injuries, so the subconscious mind protects against emotional shocks and wounds. This ego defence mechanism protects emotional well-being and helps overcome emotional shocks.
In essence the conscious and subconscious minds work as a team. The conscious mind deals with current tasks and then assigns them to the subconscious mind. The subconscious on the other hand, sends feedback in the form of emotions to the conscious mind. Being aware of the link between conscious and subconscious mind can greatly improve skills and mastery of emotions.
Awareness of the function of the subconscious mind gives us the ability to master such emotions as optimism, self esteem, confidence, inspiration and motivation; all positive emotions that greatly improve the chances of success and happiness.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
So what is the subconscious mind and how does it affect us, our optimism and self confidence so much?
The subconscious mind could be viewed as the storage space for everything not currently taking space in the conscious mind. It stores memories, life experiences, skills, our belief system and all images ever seen.
When faced with any given situation, the subconscious mind triggers appropriate emotions based upon previous life experiences. Upon placing ourselves in danger, fear and anxiety kick in, triggered from the subconscious mind.
Learning to drive is a terrific example of learned skills being stored in the subconscious mind. When first learning to drive and confidence is in short supply, the conscious mind forces us to concentrate with every gear change, turn of the steering wheel and application of the brakes being a deliberate action. Once the driving test is out of the way these actions are passed from the conscious mind to the subconscious part of the brain and confidence and self esteem make driving an automatic process. The conscious mind is free to focus on other things. How many times have we driven from A to B and not been able to remember the journey?
Through the conscious mind we are able to control logic, thought and calculation. The subconscious mind however controls automatic, life sustaining processes such as the heart beat and breathing. Try concentrating for one minute on our breathing. This proves relatively easy as we control the depth and frequencies of each breath. Remove the focus and still we find that we breathe quite naturally.
When we learn a skill such as driving it is like programming a computer. Our subconscious mind is the computer and the driving skill is the software. Emotions are equally like software. If somebody shouts at us aggressively, our subconscious mind reaches for the anger software. Yet this particular computer can be reprogrammed to accept different software so long as the subconscious mind is still protecting our emotional well-being. In the face of aggressive action the subconscious can be programmed to respond calmly yet focussed in order to deal with the situation in the most rational manner possible.
Reprogramming the subconscious mind can be done through hypnosis and constant repetition without logic ever playing a part. Constant repetition of an argument can alter somebody’s point of view despite the absence of logic.
As the body defends against physical wounds and injuries, so the subconscious mind protects against emotional shocks and wounds. This ego defence mechanism protects emotional well-being and helps overcome emotional shocks.
In essence the conscious and subconscious minds work as a team. The conscious mind deals with current tasks and then assigns them to the subconscious mind. The subconscious on the other hand, sends feedback in the form of emotions to the conscious mind. Being aware of the link between conscious and subconscious mind can greatly improve skills and mastery of emotions.
Awareness of the function of the subconscious mind gives us the ability to master such emotions as optimism, self esteem, confidence, inspiration and motivation; all positive emotions that greatly improve the chances of success and happiness.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Saturday 17 January 2009
Get Out of the Rat Race. How Inspiration Can Give You the Life of Your Dreams
Does there seem to be a lack of inspiration and motivation in your life?
Is your self esteem suffering because you wonder if this is all there is to life?
Perhaps your self confidence is suffering as your daily life drags you from one task to another.
These questions and comments resonate amongst many millions of people the world over. You ask yourself,
“What is life about?”
Your confidence is shattered as you wake up early in the morning already feeling completely worn out, as the thought of another day of fighting your way to work immediately drains your energies. Rushing through one laborious task just to get to the next and then the next before making that arduous journey back home just in time to see the kids being snugly tucked up in bed.
“Is this all my life will ever consist of?” you keep asking yourself without really looking for a way out of this trap. Optimism and hope are feelings that are long gone as the demands of mortgages and bills are the only motivation for getting out of bed in the mornings.
This is the rat race, all these people’s lives being used as the wheels to drive industry and commerce forward to greater and greater profits, although at present, some of those wheels seem to be falling off.
Does life have to be like this?
Is there another way?
Well, yes there is. Life really can be so much better than hurrying from one job just to tackle the next. To be able to enjoy the experience of every moment, every task we do, is a truly rewarding goal to aim for. Admittedly it is unlikely to be achieved in its entirety as taking the rough with the smooth makes us appreciate the smooth so much more. But if we have the correct attitude then even the hard times will be viewed as a learning curve that is well worth the effort of working through. And to aim to get something from every moment gives our lives hope, inspiration and motivation.
“What is life if full of care, we take no time to stand and stare?”
This famous line is so true. There is so much around us that is so beautiful, yet we barely notice. God has created a world so full of abundance yet very few people appreciate it. Although this is the world of our creator, he has given it for all of us to enjoy. We all can have the lives that we want if we dream big and totally believe and have the confidence that we can achieve this.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. We only have one life on this earth (as far as we know) so why not make the most of it?
So many people have fear; the fear to dream and take action to achieve those dreams. It takes belief, self confidence and a great desire to go for those dreams.
That belief may be in your self; the total confidence that you have the ability to reach the pinnacle of your personal mountain. Others have the absolute faith that God will help create the lives that they want and deserve. With complete gratitude, they know that God will show them the way to experience all the abundance that he has placed on this earth.
Wherever the belief comes from lives can change dramatically for the better. It won’t happen over night. Packing in a job that pays the mortgage and the bills before creating a better path will be considered by most to be foolhardy; although some have taken that drastic action and gotten away with it. Having the self confidence or the belief that god will shine a light on the path to follow will eventually lead to the life that is dreamed of.
Belief, optimism, confidence, self esteem, inspiration and motivation are all positive qualities that will lead to a life of abundance.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Is your self esteem suffering because you wonder if this is all there is to life?
Perhaps your self confidence is suffering as your daily life drags you from one task to another.
These questions and comments resonate amongst many millions of people the world over. You ask yourself,
“What is life about?”
Your confidence is shattered as you wake up early in the morning already feeling completely worn out, as the thought of another day of fighting your way to work immediately drains your energies. Rushing through one laborious task just to get to the next and then the next before making that arduous journey back home just in time to see the kids being snugly tucked up in bed.
“Is this all my life will ever consist of?” you keep asking yourself without really looking for a way out of this trap. Optimism and hope are feelings that are long gone as the demands of mortgages and bills are the only motivation for getting out of bed in the mornings.
This is the rat race, all these people’s lives being used as the wheels to drive industry and commerce forward to greater and greater profits, although at present, some of those wheels seem to be falling off.
Does life have to be like this?
Is there another way?
Well, yes there is. Life really can be so much better than hurrying from one job just to tackle the next. To be able to enjoy the experience of every moment, every task we do, is a truly rewarding goal to aim for. Admittedly it is unlikely to be achieved in its entirety as taking the rough with the smooth makes us appreciate the smooth so much more. But if we have the correct attitude then even the hard times will be viewed as a learning curve that is well worth the effort of working through. And to aim to get something from every moment gives our lives hope, inspiration and motivation.
“What is life if full of care, we take no time to stand and stare?”
This famous line is so true. There is so much around us that is so beautiful, yet we barely notice. God has created a world so full of abundance yet very few people appreciate it. Although this is the world of our creator, he has given it for all of us to enjoy. We all can have the lives that we want if we dream big and totally believe and have the confidence that we can achieve this.
Life is not a dress rehearsal. We only have one life on this earth (as far as we know) so why not make the most of it?
So many people have fear; the fear to dream and take action to achieve those dreams. It takes belief, self confidence and a great desire to go for those dreams.
That belief may be in your self; the total confidence that you have the ability to reach the pinnacle of your personal mountain. Others have the absolute faith that God will help create the lives that they want and deserve. With complete gratitude, they know that God will show them the way to experience all the abundance that he has placed on this earth.
Wherever the belief comes from lives can change dramatically for the better. It won’t happen over night. Packing in a job that pays the mortgage and the bills before creating a better path will be considered by most to be foolhardy; although some have taken that drastic action and gotten away with it. Having the self confidence or the belief that god will shine a light on the path to follow will eventually lead to the life that is dreamed of.
Belief, optimism, confidence, self esteem, inspiration and motivation are all positive qualities that will lead to a life of abundance.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Friday 16 January 2009
How to See The World in All It's Glory
There seems to be some people who are blessed. They are vibrant and happy; the glowing companion linked to their arm and abundance seems to flow into their lives. So why does life always appear good for them yet for others misery seems to follow with every step they take?
I was with two colleagues today; Sid and Steve. Sid is happy go lucky, a colourful character who has experienced a lot of life’s ups and downs. He is a great example of the phrase “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know”. He lives off of his wits and always seems to find that extra buck or two. Despite being obviously very street wise, he does attend church and appreciates a spiritual side within himself.
Steve is a worker. He does work hard yet always seems to be just keeping his head above the financial waters. Although he doesn’t constantly moan about his problems there are many hints and signs that he is tremendously concerned about his money situation.
We had two conversations of note during the course of the day; the first was when Steve stated that “I can’t see the point in religion. It only causes all the troubles in the world. It seems that people who don’t believe, like atheists, are the ones that are peaceful”.
The first thing that I pointed out was that the troubles are caused in the name of religion. It isn’t the religions themselves that cause the issues. Fundamentalists; people with such a deep beliefs in their teachings that they cannot accept other faiths, races and points of views seem to be at the heart of the troubles. The mainstream religions of this world have one common theme. They all believe in one creator. We may have differing guidelines on how to worship our creator and how to practice our religions but that one common link should be what binds us together and allow us to live in harmony with each other.
Secondly, I focussed on the Islamic faith. I don’t profess to know much about the religion but I hear many times that this is a very peaceful religion that denounces any form of violence. Any atrocity caused in the name of Islam is really so far removed from their teachings. Unfortunately within any race or creed; even amongst the atheists, there are good people and there are bad. It is a sign of the times that the world’s media only focuses on the bad.
It is an indication of Steve’s thought patterns that he had chosen to start a conversation on a real negative. This was even more noticeable with the statement he made later on in the day.
“I’ll be glad when this year is over”.
Considering that, at the time of writing we are only into the third week of January, this took Sid and me a little by surprise.
“Why’s that then?” I asked
He went on to point out that we were doing a horrible job (his words were a bit more flavoursome than that), and that the recession was really getting him down.
Admittedly the job wasn’t likely to be classified as our favourite, but I felt the need to express the notion that sometimes we need to experience the rough to truly enjoy the smooth.
With regards to the credit crunch I asked him
“What can you do about it?”
“Well nothing” he replied.
“Exactly” I countered. “So why keep thinking about it. Concentrate on what you can do to work around it”.
I then highlighted that the world is a beautiful place. Continuously seeing it as a dark, horribly place; one full of misery will lead to his world being one of misery. Conversely, choosing to see it for what it really is, a wonderful place full of abundance will mean a life that god wants us to experience, full of the abundances that he has put here for us to enjoy.
Undoubtedly there will be harder times than others. If we decide to see the world in its full glory, those harder times will be so much easier to handle, obstacles so much easier to overcome.
Sid pointed out that if we visualise life like a steeplechase race, we have hurdles to straddle. If we view the world with tremendous optimism and confidence we will jump the hurdles. If we see our planet as a world full of darkness we are going to clip those hurdles and fall over. Worst still, we will probably run straight into them.
Sid obviously had a better grasp on how to view his world and consequently experiences a lot more of the good that is out there.
We can all decide to see the world in a positive light; full of hope and optimism. It is our choice and we don’t have to let other people’s negativity cloud our vision. It doesn’t come easy, but catching ourselves thinking negative thoughts is a start. Substituting those thoughts with ones of vibrancy, abundance, happiness and tranquillity and then truly believing that we deserve these riches, will, eventually, develop us into those that have and not those that have not.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.co.uk
I was with two colleagues today; Sid and Steve. Sid is happy go lucky, a colourful character who has experienced a lot of life’s ups and downs. He is a great example of the phrase “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know”. He lives off of his wits and always seems to find that extra buck or two. Despite being obviously very street wise, he does attend church and appreciates a spiritual side within himself.
Steve is a worker. He does work hard yet always seems to be just keeping his head above the financial waters. Although he doesn’t constantly moan about his problems there are many hints and signs that he is tremendously concerned about his money situation.
We had two conversations of note during the course of the day; the first was when Steve stated that “I can’t see the point in religion. It only causes all the troubles in the world. It seems that people who don’t believe, like atheists, are the ones that are peaceful”.
The first thing that I pointed out was that the troubles are caused in the name of religion. It isn’t the religions themselves that cause the issues. Fundamentalists; people with such a deep beliefs in their teachings that they cannot accept other faiths, races and points of views seem to be at the heart of the troubles. The mainstream religions of this world have one common theme. They all believe in one creator. We may have differing guidelines on how to worship our creator and how to practice our religions but that one common link should be what binds us together and allow us to live in harmony with each other.
Secondly, I focussed on the Islamic faith. I don’t profess to know much about the religion but I hear many times that this is a very peaceful religion that denounces any form of violence. Any atrocity caused in the name of Islam is really so far removed from their teachings. Unfortunately within any race or creed; even amongst the atheists, there are good people and there are bad. It is a sign of the times that the world’s media only focuses on the bad.
It is an indication of Steve’s thought patterns that he had chosen to start a conversation on a real negative. This was even more noticeable with the statement he made later on in the day.
“I’ll be glad when this year is over”.
Considering that, at the time of writing we are only into the third week of January, this took Sid and me a little by surprise.
“Why’s that then?” I asked
He went on to point out that we were doing a horrible job (his words were a bit more flavoursome than that), and that the recession was really getting him down.
Admittedly the job wasn’t likely to be classified as our favourite, but I felt the need to express the notion that sometimes we need to experience the rough to truly enjoy the smooth.
With regards to the credit crunch I asked him
“What can you do about it?”
“Well nothing” he replied.
“Exactly” I countered. “So why keep thinking about it. Concentrate on what you can do to work around it”.
I then highlighted that the world is a beautiful place. Continuously seeing it as a dark, horribly place; one full of misery will lead to his world being one of misery. Conversely, choosing to see it for what it really is, a wonderful place full of abundance will mean a life that god wants us to experience, full of the abundances that he has put here for us to enjoy.
Undoubtedly there will be harder times than others. If we decide to see the world in its full glory, those harder times will be so much easier to handle, obstacles so much easier to overcome.
Sid pointed out that if we visualise life like a steeplechase race, we have hurdles to straddle. If we view the world with tremendous optimism and confidence we will jump the hurdles. If we see our planet as a world full of darkness we are going to clip those hurdles and fall over. Worst still, we will probably run straight into them.
Sid obviously had a better grasp on how to view his world and consequently experiences a lot more of the good that is out there.
We can all decide to see the world in a positive light; full of hope and optimism. It is our choice and we don’t have to let other people’s negativity cloud our vision. It doesn’t come easy, but catching ourselves thinking negative thoughts is a start. Substituting those thoughts with ones of vibrancy, abundance, happiness and tranquillity and then truly believing that we deserve these riches, will, eventually, develop us into those that have and not those that have not.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.co.uk
Friday 9 January 2009
Get Happy and Live a Life Full of Motivation and Inspiration
Are you feeling full of inspiration and motivation?
No!! Then perhaps you aren’t happy.
What is happiness?
What makes us happy, confident and bubbling with self esteem?
How can we be happy?
Happiness is the feeling we get when the body releases the hormone Serotonin. This hormone helps to prevent depression, raises our spirits and provides us with energy. Exposure to sunlight is a great way of increasing levels of Serotonin which is why so many people feel bright and happy during the hot, sunny days of summer and consequently feel far more miserable during the cold, dark days of winter. Many people comfort eat to make them selves feel happier. This is not surprising when it is known that carbohydrates, protein and famously chocolate raises levels of Serotonin within the body.
With regards to nutrition and a healthy way of living, vitamins B and C plus exercise all increase the “happy hormone”, which probably explains why exercise can sometimes feel like a chore but after completing a workout there is an overwhelming mood of exhilaration.
Do you deserve to be happy?
If the answer is no, your belief system is telling you that you and happiness don’t belong together.
But why should anybody feel this way?
This belief needs to be challenged. Look around you at all those successful and happy people. Do they deserve to be happy?
They, like us all, have made mistakes and probably make many cock ups on a daily basis. Without a doubt some will have cheated, lied or even broken the law. So why should these people deserve happiness any more than you?
Are they really any better a person than you?
If these people believe that they deserve happiness than so should you. God created us to experience joy and abundance and to live our lives to the full. Being depressed and miserable was not his intention.
So what is the definition of happiness?
This has been a question open for debate among many a philosopher. Some believe this is a feeling one gets when everything in life is as it should be. Others express it as the feeling you get when you achieve a goal. The problem with viewing it this way is that happiness can be very short lived. Once a goal has been reached the feeling of happiness wears off when the next target presents itself.
My favourite definition is that of inner peace. Once inner peace has been experienced, it can last forever despite all the problems that manifest themselves as time goes on. The word contentment springs to mind at this point.
Happiness is a perspective dependant on ones emotion. What makes one person happy will not necessarily make the next man happy. So how can we make ourselves happy?
The mind can only experience one emotion at a time. If we are stressed we cannot be happy. If we are depressed we cannot be full of motivation and inspiration. Happiness is the absence of bad emotions. Identify the bad emotions we feel and try to substitute them with feelings of self confidence and positive ness. Happiness and self esteem will shortly follow.
Know what it is that makes you happy. Once this has been identified, visualise it, believe that you can have it and make great strides to achieve it.
Strive to create a feeling of optimism. When problems and obstacles have to be overcome, self confidence, positive thinking and optimism are fantastic tools to help you hurdle over those barriers.
Without getting to deep, religion is a tremendous source of happiness. The belief in a higher power that is there to assist in all our problems gives great strength to our optimism, hope and happiness.
Have a purpose in life. By having something to get up for in the mornings, and then achieving our purposes, again boosts self esteem, confidence and happiness.
Undoubtedly having deep and meaningful relationships is a great source of happiness. We all have the need to be wanted and finding a loving partner and family provides so much joy. And when there are times of trouble, sharing these woes with another certainly halves the burden.
Ultimately happiness comes from within. If you can be happy and contented despite all life’s problems then you have truly found happiness. If you can enjoy everything that surrounds you then congratulations, you are a happy and contented man (woman).
Finding happiness is a great target to aim for. Happiness lies at the heart of inspiration, motivation, self esteem and self confidence.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
No!! Then perhaps you aren’t happy.
What is happiness?
What makes us happy, confident and bubbling with self esteem?
How can we be happy?
Happiness is the feeling we get when the body releases the hormone Serotonin. This hormone helps to prevent depression, raises our spirits and provides us with energy. Exposure to sunlight is a great way of increasing levels of Serotonin which is why so many people feel bright and happy during the hot, sunny days of summer and consequently feel far more miserable during the cold, dark days of winter. Many people comfort eat to make them selves feel happier. This is not surprising when it is known that carbohydrates, protein and famously chocolate raises levels of Serotonin within the body.
With regards to nutrition and a healthy way of living, vitamins B and C plus exercise all increase the “happy hormone”, which probably explains why exercise can sometimes feel like a chore but after completing a workout there is an overwhelming mood of exhilaration.
Do you deserve to be happy?
If the answer is no, your belief system is telling you that you and happiness don’t belong together.
But why should anybody feel this way?
This belief needs to be challenged. Look around you at all those successful and happy people. Do they deserve to be happy?
They, like us all, have made mistakes and probably make many cock ups on a daily basis. Without a doubt some will have cheated, lied or even broken the law. So why should these people deserve happiness any more than you?
Are they really any better a person than you?
If these people believe that they deserve happiness than so should you. God created us to experience joy and abundance and to live our lives to the full. Being depressed and miserable was not his intention.
So what is the definition of happiness?
This has been a question open for debate among many a philosopher. Some believe this is a feeling one gets when everything in life is as it should be. Others express it as the feeling you get when you achieve a goal. The problem with viewing it this way is that happiness can be very short lived. Once a goal has been reached the feeling of happiness wears off when the next target presents itself.
My favourite definition is that of inner peace. Once inner peace has been experienced, it can last forever despite all the problems that manifest themselves as time goes on. The word contentment springs to mind at this point.
Happiness is a perspective dependant on ones emotion. What makes one person happy will not necessarily make the next man happy. So how can we make ourselves happy?
The mind can only experience one emotion at a time. If we are stressed we cannot be happy. If we are depressed we cannot be full of motivation and inspiration. Happiness is the absence of bad emotions. Identify the bad emotions we feel and try to substitute them with feelings of self confidence and positive ness. Happiness and self esteem will shortly follow.
Know what it is that makes you happy. Once this has been identified, visualise it, believe that you can have it and make great strides to achieve it.
Strive to create a feeling of optimism. When problems and obstacles have to be overcome, self confidence, positive thinking and optimism are fantastic tools to help you hurdle over those barriers.
Without getting to deep, religion is a tremendous source of happiness. The belief in a higher power that is there to assist in all our problems gives great strength to our optimism, hope and happiness.
Have a purpose in life. By having something to get up for in the mornings, and then achieving our purposes, again boosts self esteem, confidence and happiness.
Undoubtedly having deep and meaningful relationships is a great source of happiness. We all have the need to be wanted and finding a loving partner and family provides so much joy. And when there are times of trouble, sharing these woes with another certainly halves the burden.
Ultimately happiness comes from within. If you can be happy and contented despite all life’s problems then you have truly found happiness. If you can enjoy everything that surrounds you then congratulations, you are a happy and contented man (woman).
Finding happiness is a great target to aim for. Happiness lies at the heart of inspiration, motivation, self esteem and self confidence.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Wednesday 7 January 2009
Improve Your Life by Being an Inspiration to Others Using Optimism
How many people can be described as optimistic?
What is optimism and how can it play an important role in our thoughts and successes?
Can optimism increase our self esteem, confidence and improve our motivation?
Optimism can be defined as a positive approach to life, always having an upbeat attitude that places us in the right position to achieve success. An optimist will believe that things will always turn out great despite the tough times that life throws up from time to time. Optimism cushions us from despair and hopelessness when the going gets tough.
Optimism has been defined by Martin Seligman, author of many books on this subject, by how we see events, using the three dimensions internal/external, permanent/temporary and pervasive/specific. An optimist will credit him/herself for the good times (internal), believing the good times will last (permanent) and these will affect other parts of their lives (pervasive). When the going does get tough, an optimist puts this down to circumstances outside of their control (external), the problems won’t last (temporary) and they only affect this particular situation (specific).
The pessimist on the other hand will see things in totally the reverse.
An optimist will see a life full of abundance. They will see a glass as being half full whilst the pessimist will see it as being half empty.
Self esteem can very much determine whether or not we are optimists. If we truly believe we are worthwhile people who deserve happiness and abundance we will see the world in a positive light. We will view ourselves positively as well.
If we fail to get that promotion we were after we say to ourselves,
“I don’t have the skills that they were looking for yet, but I know that if I study and practice I will develop those skills and be better placed next time.”
By saying “I’m not good enough, perhaps I’m not cut out for promotion” is very much the attitude of the pessimist. Pessimists blame themselves when things don’t happen the way they would like and then give up when the hard times come around.
Like many traits in our personality, optimism/pessimism is determined in our early years by our temperament and how we react to events as we go through life, influenced by our environment, family, peers and our education. However, optimism can be learned and a tendency towards pessimism can be overturned.
Just one technique is to catch ourselves when thinking negatively and focus on a more positive view.
“I’m rubbish at playing squash, I’m going to give up playing” can be turned into “I can easily enjoy squash without having to be perfect at it”.
Many of the most successful people are optimists, achieving great things because they have confidence in themselves and believe that they deserve happiness and abundance. Optimism gives them the motivation to go out and succeed and their optimism is an inspiration to so many others.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
What is optimism and how can it play an important role in our thoughts and successes?
Can optimism increase our self esteem, confidence and improve our motivation?
Optimism can be defined as a positive approach to life, always having an upbeat attitude that places us in the right position to achieve success. An optimist will believe that things will always turn out great despite the tough times that life throws up from time to time. Optimism cushions us from despair and hopelessness when the going gets tough.
Optimism has been defined by Martin Seligman, author of many books on this subject, by how we see events, using the three dimensions internal/external, permanent/temporary and pervasive/specific. An optimist will credit him/herself for the good times (internal), believing the good times will last (permanent) and these will affect other parts of their lives (pervasive). When the going does get tough, an optimist puts this down to circumstances outside of their control (external), the problems won’t last (temporary) and they only affect this particular situation (specific).
The pessimist on the other hand will see things in totally the reverse.
An optimist will see a life full of abundance. They will see a glass as being half full whilst the pessimist will see it as being half empty.
Self esteem can very much determine whether or not we are optimists. If we truly believe we are worthwhile people who deserve happiness and abundance we will see the world in a positive light. We will view ourselves positively as well.
If we fail to get that promotion we were after we say to ourselves,
“I don’t have the skills that they were looking for yet, but I know that if I study and practice I will develop those skills and be better placed next time.”
By saying “I’m not good enough, perhaps I’m not cut out for promotion” is very much the attitude of the pessimist. Pessimists blame themselves when things don’t happen the way they would like and then give up when the hard times come around.
Like many traits in our personality, optimism/pessimism is determined in our early years by our temperament and how we react to events as we go through life, influenced by our environment, family, peers and our education. However, optimism can be learned and a tendency towards pessimism can be overturned.
Just one technique is to catch ourselves when thinking negatively and focus on a more positive view.
“I’m rubbish at playing squash, I’m going to give up playing” can be turned into “I can easily enjoy squash without having to be perfect at it”.
Many of the most successful people are optimists, achieving great things because they have confidence in themselves and believe that they deserve happiness and abundance. Optimism gives them the motivation to go out and succeed and their optimism is an inspiration to so many others.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Tuesday 6 January 2009
It in the Eyes You Know
In the last article the eyes were mentioned as being a possible give away if somebody is being less than honest with you. So what are the tell tale signs that the eyes may give?
There are links between the way somebody might be thinking and the direction their eyes will go. There are six directions in which the eyes will move whilst that person is in thought. Upper left, upper right, middle left, middle right, lower left and lower right.
So what do the differing directions indicate?
The following is an illustration for a right handed person.
Upper left is for visual construction. This indicates that a person is constructing a visual image.
Upper right is for visual memory. This indicates that a person is remembering a visual image.
Middle left is for auditory construction. This is an indication that our person being observed is constructing a sound.
Middle right is for auditory memory. This indicates that the person is remembering a sound.
Lower left is for Kinetics. This will mean that our person is remembering feelings.
Lower right is for auditory digital. Our person in question is talking to him/herself.
To give an example. A person can be asked the colour of their car. The eyes should go to the upper right, remembering the colour of that car. If the eyes go to the upper left then they are constructing a colour rather than remembering it therefore could quite possibly be making up an answer.
Now for the caution. Having described all this, it is not the most reliable of methods. These are some of the reasons why this method could let you down.
The person is left handed. If this is the case the eye direction should be reversed.
There are some people when trying to remember will manage to keep their eye direction in the middle.
Other people may focus and refocus their eyes when remembering and their eyes will move in any direction.
The mind is a superior device with hundreds of thoughts passing through at any one time. The eyes could therefore move in any direction dependant on the thoughts.
Although not fool proof, this method of detecting if you are getting the truth from someone is a worthwhile exercise and may be able to help you read that persons mind.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
There are links between the way somebody might be thinking and the direction their eyes will go. There are six directions in which the eyes will move whilst that person is in thought. Upper left, upper right, middle left, middle right, lower left and lower right.
So what do the differing directions indicate?
The following is an illustration for a right handed person.
Upper left is for visual construction. This indicates that a person is constructing a visual image.
Upper right is for visual memory. This indicates that a person is remembering a visual image.
Middle left is for auditory construction. This is an indication that our person being observed is constructing a sound.
Middle right is for auditory memory. This indicates that the person is remembering a sound.
Lower left is for Kinetics. This will mean that our person is remembering feelings.
Lower right is for auditory digital. Our person in question is talking to him/herself.
To give an example. A person can be asked the colour of their car. The eyes should go to the upper right, remembering the colour of that car. If the eyes go to the upper left then they are constructing a colour rather than remembering it therefore could quite possibly be making up an answer.
Now for the caution. Having described all this, it is not the most reliable of methods. These are some of the reasons why this method could let you down.
The person is left handed. If this is the case the eye direction should be reversed.
There are some people when trying to remember will manage to keep their eye direction in the middle.
Other people may focus and refocus their eyes when remembering and their eyes will move in any direction.
The mind is a superior device with hundreds of thoughts passing through at any one time. The eyes could therefore move in any direction dependant on the thoughts.
Although not fool proof, this method of detecting if you are getting the truth from someone is a worthwhile exercise and may be able to help you read that persons mind.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Thursday 1 January 2009
How to Confidently Spot the Untruths
Being lied to or somebody not telling the whole truth is not very pleasant and can land us into a whole heap of trouble in the worse case scenario. So wouldn’t it be helpful if we could tell the lies from the truths?
How much help would it be if we could back up our gut feelings that we aren’t getting the truth with some evidence?
It must be stressed here that the following are rough guidelines only and do not provide concrete evidence. If only one sign is detected there is no proof of a lie. Two signals may be an indication. Three or more strengthens the case that you may be being lied to.
Negative Evaluation Postures
The touching of the ears or nose whilst answering a question. In a negative situation the blood capillaries of the nose contract thus giving an urge to scratch it. Somebody who is lying and feels uncomfortable about it will feel in a negative situation.
The palms of the hands are rarely shown when somebody is not telling the truth. Open palms indicate honesty and truthfulness so palms facing down or placed in pockets are likely to show the opposite.
The back is likely to be bent or slouched when accompanying a lie. A confident person stands and walks with a straight back and head held high. To a person unused to lying, this negative situation is probably going to drain the confidence from him/her.
Inconsistencies in the Story
The more often a story is asked to be relayed the more likely a lie will be exposed. The adding or subtracting of elements of the story is an indication of fabrication of the truth. A story can sometimes dramatically change when there is something to be covered up.
Feeling Anxious
Although not conclusive evidence, feeling anxious when answering a question could be a sign that the truth is not being told. Signs that somebody is feeling anxious are biting of finger nails, fidgeting, tapping heels repeatedly or nervously on the floor, tapping fingers or hands on lap, sweating, whistling and jiggling things in pockets.
Eye Contact
Eye contact is normally much weaker. Eye contact shows interest in what is being heard. It also shows respect. 100% eye contact normally proves uncomfortable to both people involved in a conversation. Normal eye contact happens for about 70 – 80 % of a conversation. Sometimes looking directly into somebody’s eyes is a little disconcerting. Looking at the nose or the middle of the mouth still gives the impression of looking into the eyes. Looking just above the eyes when giving an order shows authority and leadership.
Somebody who looks around rather than into your eyes may be holding back the truth.
Eye Accessing Clue
This is a very interesting area of study which needs a whole article by itself to give it justice. But briefly the direction of the eyes give clues as to how a person may be thinking and if the direction of the eye conflicts with an answer this could be saying something about the validity of that answer. This is not an exact science and a lot of caution has to be used with this method but an article at a later date would prove very useful.
Other Clues
Avoiding the Subject. Somebody who has something to hide will invariably avoid the subject in any given conversation. Skirt around the subject in conversation and notice if the other person tries to move away from the subject completely.
Lack of Assertiveness. This usually manifests itself in a lower voice tone and an appearance of low self confidence in somebody not used to lying.
Speaking Slowly. Somebody who is lying will quite possibly speak slower than usual. If they are making things up as they go along, speaking more slowly gives them greater time to think.
These are some of the indications that somebody may not be being totally honest with you. Although it will not provide hard evidence it could well give you the idea that you should be wary of what is being said.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
How much help would it be if we could back up our gut feelings that we aren’t getting the truth with some evidence?
It must be stressed here that the following are rough guidelines only and do not provide concrete evidence. If only one sign is detected there is no proof of a lie. Two signals may be an indication. Three or more strengthens the case that you may be being lied to.
Negative Evaluation Postures
The touching of the ears or nose whilst answering a question. In a negative situation the blood capillaries of the nose contract thus giving an urge to scratch it. Somebody who is lying and feels uncomfortable about it will feel in a negative situation.
The palms of the hands are rarely shown when somebody is not telling the truth. Open palms indicate honesty and truthfulness so palms facing down or placed in pockets are likely to show the opposite.
The back is likely to be bent or slouched when accompanying a lie. A confident person stands and walks with a straight back and head held high. To a person unused to lying, this negative situation is probably going to drain the confidence from him/her.
Inconsistencies in the Story
The more often a story is asked to be relayed the more likely a lie will be exposed. The adding or subtracting of elements of the story is an indication of fabrication of the truth. A story can sometimes dramatically change when there is something to be covered up.
Feeling Anxious
Although not conclusive evidence, feeling anxious when answering a question could be a sign that the truth is not being told. Signs that somebody is feeling anxious are biting of finger nails, fidgeting, tapping heels repeatedly or nervously on the floor, tapping fingers or hands on lap, sweating, whistling and jiggling things in pockets.
Eye Contact
Eye contact is normally much weaker. Eye contact shows interest in what is being heard. It also shows respect. 100% eye contact normally proves uncomfortable to both people involved in a conversation. Normal eye contact happens for about 70 – 80 % of a conversation. Sometimes looking directly into somebody’s eyes is a little disconcerting. Looking at the nose or the middle of the mouth still gives the impression of looking into the eyes. Looking just above the eyes when giving an order shows authority and leadership.
Somebody who looks around rather than into your eyes may be holding back the truth.
Eye Accessing Clue
This is a very interesting area of study which needs a whole article by itself to give it justice. But briefly the direction of the eyes give clues as to how a person may be thinking and if the direction of the eye conflicts with an answer this could be saying something about the validity of that answer. This is not an exact science and a lot of caution has to be used with this method but an article at a later date would prove very useful.
Other Clues
Avoiding the Subject. Somebody who has something to hide will invariably avoid the subject in any given conversation. Skirt around the subject in conversation and notice if the other person tries to move away from the subject completely.
Lack of Assertiveness. This usually manifests itself in a lower voice tone and an appearance of low self confidence in somebody not used to lying.
Speaking Slowly. Somebody who is lying will quite possibly speak slower than usual. If they are making things up as they go along, speaking more slowly gives them greater time to think.
These are some of the indications that somebody may not be being totally honest with you. Although it will not provide hard evidence it could well give you the idea that you should be wary of what is being said.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
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