Why is it that some seem to have limited potential?
Why is “the sky’s the limit” for some people and not for others?
Why do some people struggle to get on in life?
Largely it is down to belief. Our core beliefs about ourselves and our confidence determine how we react to life and the circumstances that arise. For many years animals used to be a major attraction in circuses (not so much now thank goodness). The elephant was a star attraction at many of these performances having been tamed from birth. An animal the size of an elephant has the potential to cause chaos if it was able to escape. But as babies they were chained to heavy iron balls making it almost impossible to break free. As time goes on the elephant begins to believe that it is incapable of escaping even once it is released from the burden of that heavy iron ball. The belief system of the elephant is now one of captivity.
Human beings are very much like that baby elephant, weighed down by their false beliefs, beliefs that have been created by unwitting comments of trustworthy people.
We’re too old to learn a new sport. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
I can’t get a decent job. I’m no good for the jobs market.
Nobody gets everything in life.
You have no time for activities once you’re married.
I can’t quit smoking.
I’m never lucky.
Do some of these phrases sound familiar?
Robert and Charles used to play football together. Robert was brought up to believe that you can’t have everything in life that you want. By coincidence they both had an interview for the same job. The job entailed working 12 hours per day, 6 days per week. Robert, believing that he couldn’t have everything in life, took the job and quitted his regular game of football. Charles, on the other hand, decided to decline the job, believing that a position that better suited his schedule would soon come along. Robert gradually became depressed with the situation, and all motivation and inspiration drifted away. He felt that there was something missing in his life and after a year he quit the job.
So many people are held back by false beliefs. They think that they are fine as they are even though they have the ability to advance in life. These people don’t bother to learn new skills’ thinking that this is all life has to offer.
Many others will quit sport or a favourite leisure activity believing that marriage and a career is life consuming; like Robert believing that it is impossible to have everything in life that they want.
How many people do we know that won’t start new relationships, their self confidence destroyed by a previous broken relationship? They somehow believe that they have lost their “soul mate” and will not be suitable for anybody else.
So how does one break away from these false beliefs that are anchoring us down and preventing us from sailing to the port of success?
We must test the opinions of others. If we find ourselves failing to take an exam because someone has said it is too hard, take that exam for yourself. After all, that person is unlikely to have the same skill set as us.
If you are told that a box is too heavy to lift, don’t take that person’s word for it. Go and try it yourself (but be careful not to strain your back in the process. I don’t want the Health and Safety Executive coming down on me).
Henry Ford once said,
“If you think you can do a thing or think that you can’t do a thing, you are right”.
Your beliefs and self confidence will make you the person you want to be. Believe it.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Monday 29 December 2008
Monday 22 December 2008
How Our Beliefs Can Provide Self Confidence and a Better Life
Self confidence derives from a belief in ourselves and our belief systems. But what are the things that we believe in that give us self confidence and hope?
For some, it is enough to believe in our own abilities, confident that we can find our way over any obstacle and drive on down the road to success. Many more draw comfort from their faiths and religion.
What follows next is not in any way intended to offend but to provide thought and debate. These are my thoughts which have been banded about among friends and I encourage anybody to comment and provide their own thoughts.
I attend church and am actively involved by helping with communion and occasionally conducting readings. I consider myself to be Christian, trying to live my life according to a code of morals that I believe most devout followers of all the main religions would follow too.
Yet there are some elements of the old testament that I struggle to get my head around. The idea that God has created us in his own image fails to resonate with me. I truly believe that a greater force has created us but in his own likeness?
It is easy for me to understand a greater power, our creator. If the big bang theory is to be believed, ie. the whole universe was created by a massive nuclear explosion generated from one single atom, well who or what put that atom there in the first place?
I also struggle to see how the world was created in seven days (six really, as on the seventh day God put his feet up). I have heard it said that each day represents a period of time in the earth’s massive history. One day equals so many millions or billions of years. Yet other Christian religions follow the bible word for word. Where does the truth lie?
Does it really matter?
The fact is that a belief in any religion gives us strength, it gives us hope and it gives us a set of rules by which to lead our lives upon. If we gain self confidence and a belief that we can succeed and rise above all uncertainties and yet still remain true to ourselves, religion must be a good thing mustn’t it?
I feel the danger comes from believing that our religion is right and true above all others. Then it can lead to fundamentalism. The belief that everybody should believe exactly what we believe and condemn those that don’t is surely a recipe for trouble.
In the small town where I live I am proud of the Churches Together initiative. Like minded people gather and talk freely together and work for the benefit of the community. Yet we are free to believe the way in which we want to believe. I don’t proclaim to know much about every main religion but if we all have a belief and a set of moral guidelines on which to follow, there is no reason on earth why we all cannot live in peace with each other.
These are some of my beliefs, beliefs that give me the self confidence and the desire to drive forward on a journey through life that provides success and immense satisfaction. I remember my grandmother saying in her last days.
“I’ve lived a great life and I’m ready to go now”
My intention is to be able to say exactly the same. Through my beliefs, self confidence and energy, I know I will.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
http://www.getselfconfident.com/
For some, it is enough to believe in our own abilities, confident that we can find our way over any obstacle and drive on down the road to success. Many more draw comfort from their faiths and religion.
What follows next is not in any way intended to offend but to provide thought and debate. These are my thoughts which have been banded about among friends and I encourage anybody to comment and provide their own thoughts.
I attend church and am actively involved by helping with communion and occasionally conducting readings. I consider myself to be Christian, trying to live my life according to a code of morals that I believe most devout followers of all the main religions would follow too.
Yet there are some elements of the old testament that I struggle to get my head around. The idea that God has created us in his own image fails to resonate with me. I truly believe that a greater force has created us but in his own likeness?
It is easy for me to understand a greater power, our creator. If the big bang theory is to be believed, ie. the whole universe was created by a massive nuclear explosion generated from one single atom, well who or what put that atom there in the first place?
I also struggle to see how the world was created in seven days (six really, as on the seventh day God put his feet up). I have heard it said that each day represents a period of time in the earth’s massive history. One day equals so many millions or billions of years. Yet other Christian religions follow the bible word for word. Where does the truth lie?
Does it really matter?
The fact is that a belief in any religion gives us strength, it gives us hope and it gives us a set of rules by which to lead our lives upon. If we gain self confidence and a belief that we can succeed and rise above all uncertainties and yet still remain true to ourselves, religion must be a good thing mustn’t it?
I feel the danger comes from believing that our religion is right and true above all others. Then it can lead to fundamentalism. The belief that everybody should believe exactly what we believe and condemn those that don’t is surely a recipe for trouble.
In the small town where I live I am proud of the Churches Together initiative. Like minded people gather and talk freely together and work for the benefit of the community. Yet we are free to believe the way in which we want to believe. I don’t proclaim to know much about every main religion but if we all have a belief and a set of moral guidelines on which to follow, there is no reason on earth why we all cannot live in peace with each other.
These are some of my beliefs, beliefs that give me the self confidence and the desire to drive forward on a journey through life that provides success and immense satisfaction. I remember my grandmother saying in her last days.
“I’ve lived a great life and I’m ready to go now”
My intention is to be able to say exactly the same. Through my beliefs, self confidence and energy, I know I will.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
http://www.getselfconfident.com/
Friday 12 December 2008
How to Have a Stress Free Life and Regain Your Self Confidence
Stress is very much the big buzz word of today and has been for many years now. It can destroy self confidence and can very much damage our health. Everybody has at some stage suffered from stress and to a small degree it can be a good thing; keeping us on our toes and helping us to progress rather than stagnate.
So what is stress and how do we cope with the excessiveness of it?
I can give you a personal example which shows that I am still fallible despite all my practicing of self confidence techniques.
Just yesterday I had a job to do that didn’t go according to plan. As a water treatment engineer by day I had a part to fit on a plant in Swindon. I had ordered the part but as this was not a retrofit there was some differences which I had not anticipated. Using my many years of engineering experience I managed to overcome the various difficulties despite not getting away from site until 9.30 in the evening and having to return today to finish; time that wasn’t in the budget for the job. Finishing late last night was not a problem, I have worked those hours before. Finishing late today was a problem; I had to be home by 6.00p.m. in order to look after my two boys whilst my wife went off to work.
The M25 was my source of stress like it has been for thousands of poor souls who use that infamous motorway as a regular commute. Miles and then tens of miles of speed restrictions, delays and stop-start traffic slowly but surely boiled my brain until it exploded with a barrage of cussing and swearing pointed in the direction of the heavens. I would like to point out that I regularly go to church so my reaction is definitely something I am not proud of. This lack of control is not a regular occurrence but with the problems of the last two days it just got on top of me. The fact that I am powerless to control the circumstances that I found my self in and the temporary destruction of self confidence just added to the frustration.
When suffering from stress the resources of the mind get locked up and the creative thoughts that are more likely to help any given stressful situation keep themselves buried deep in the mind.
Lots of work or tasks that have to be completed in a short space of time add greatly to the stress levels as does working under pressure for long periods of time. Under conditions like these the smallest of external influences blows that shortening fuse. The kids playing up or screaming in the background get a taste of our sharp tongue (does it sound like I’ve been there and got the tee-shirt?). Then we feel bad about what we have done and this dampens our self confidence.
The answer to this is what then?
A few little tips for you which after today’s experience perhaps I need to practice a little harder with.
Eliminate as much as possible the bad external influences. Noise, an untidy workspace and bad lighting are just some examples.
Time manage where possible. Not always easy I know particularly when emergencies crop up.
On the back of time management, try not to commit to too many things. This allows much better control over our time.
Exercise regularly. Taking the strain off of the mind and placing it on the body does wonders for the mind. The release can be quite noticeable after a good workout or sporting activity, especially if we’ve won. People who exercise regularly suffer less stress as long as they don’t over do it.
Eat healthily. Plenty of fruit and vegetables and no alcohol (I might have a problem with the alcohol bit).
Cut out smoking. Despite what people say, smoking increases stress levels. It is the way in which people breathe when smoking that causes a temporary relaxed state.
This may seem difficult to comprehend but we, in a round about way, choose to be stressed. This is brought about by our subconscious minds. Training our subconscious minds through visualisation and images of being stress free will soon help us cope with life in a far more relaxed manner.
Laughter is said to be one of life’s best medicines. By finding our chuckle buttons and taking life a little less seriously is one of the greatest ways to keep healthy.
Using relaxation techniques as can be found at www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1 allows as more time in the relaxation zone.
Stress in small doses is actually good for us but in larger quantities can be a serious health problem and damaging to self confidence and that all important positive attitude.
For those that are interested, I was 15 minute late and my wife had gotten one of our neighbours to baby-sit for that brief time. Perhaps I should add a good wife to the list of stress relievers above.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
So what is stress and how do we cope with the excessiveness of it?
I can give you a personal example which shows that I am still fallible despite all my practicing of self confidence techniques.
Just yesterday I had a job to do that didn’t go according to plan. As a water treatment engineer by day I had a part to fit on a plant in Swindon. I had ordered the part but as this was not a retrofit there was some differences which I had not anticipated. Using my many years of engineering experience I managed to overcome the various difficulties despite not getting away from site until 9.30 in the evening and having to return today to finish; time that wasn’t in the budget for the job. Finishing late last night was not a problem, I have worked those hours before. Finishing late today was a problem; I had to be home by 6.00p.m. in order to look after my two boys whilst my wife went off to work.
The M25 was my source of stress like it has been for thousands of poor souls who use that infamous motorway as a regular commute. Miles and then tens of miles of speed restrictions, delays and stop-start traffic slowly but surely boiled my brain until it exploded with a barrage of cussing and swearing pointed in the direction of the heavens. I would like to point out that I regularly go to church so my reaction is definitely something I am not proud of. This lack of control is not a regular occurrence but with the problems of the last two days it just got on top of me. The fact that I am powerless to control the circumstances that I found my self in and the temporary destruction of self confidence just added to the frustration.
When suffering from stress the resources of the mind get locked up and the creative thoughts that are more likely to help any given stressful situation keep themselves buried deep in the mind.
Lots of work or tasks that have to be completed in a short space of time add greatly to the stress levels as does working under pressure for long periods of time. Under conditions like these the smallest of external influences blows that shortening fuse. The kids playing up or screaming in the background get a taste of our sharp tongue (does it sound like I’ve been there and got the tee-shirt?). Then we feel bad about what we have done and this dampens our self confidence.
The answer to this is what then?
A few little tips for you which after today’s experience perhaps I need to practice a little harder with.
Eliminate as much as possible the bad external influences. Noise, an untidy workspace and bad lighting are just some examples.
Time manage where possible. Not always easy I know particularly when emergencies crop up.
On the back of time management, try not to commit to too many things. This allows much better control over our time.
Exercise regularly. Taking the strain off of the mind and placing it on the body does wonders for the mind. The release can be quite noticeable after a good workout or sporting activity, especially if we’ve won. People who exercise regularly suffer less stress as long as they don’t over do it.
Eat healthily. Plenty of fruit and vegetables and no alcohol (I might have a problem with the alcohol bit).
Cut out smoking. Despite what people say, smoking increases stress levels. It is the way in which people breathe when smoking that causes a temporary relaxed state.
This may seem difficult to comprehend but we, in a round about way, choose to be stressed. This is brought about by our subconscious minds. Training our subconscious minds through visualisation and images of being stress free will soon help us cope with life in a far more relaxed manner.
Laughter is said to be one of life’s best medicines. By finding our chuckle buttons and taking life a little less seriously is one of the greatest ways to keep healthy.
Using relaxation techniques as can be found at www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1 allows as more time in the relaxation zone.
Stress in small doses is actually good for us but in larger quantities can be a serious health problem and damaging to self confidence and that all important positive attitude.
For those that are interested, I was 15 minute late and my wife had gotten one of our neighbours to baby-sit for that brief time. Perhaps I should add a good wife to the list of stress relievers above.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
www.getselfconfident.com
Thursday 27 November 2008
How Self Confidence Can Be Born From Science And Religion
Religion and science. Are they at odds with each other?
As science explains more of the working of nature, does this dispel the beliefs around religions and the self confidence they give to millions of people?
Are scientists devoid of faith themselves?
I was at a men’s breakfast not so long ago. This is a meeting of men folk who attend the different Christian churches around the town. Promoting churches together and organising such events allows like minded people to experience the many viewpoints of the differing denominations within a friendly and informal forum. At these men’s breakfasts there is always a talk delivered by somebody who, with self confidence, offer some teachings of the benefits of their religion through their life’s experiences.
This particular talk was by a physicist entitled “An atheist who found religion”. He explained that in his early years as a scientist he was so enveloped by his work that he felt his work had all the answers. Along with all the scientific explanations of how the world functions, his career offered all the trappings of a comfortable lifestyle, and with his self confidence, he had no room in his head or heart for god.
He read and studied a great deal and eventually came across a couple of books that argued the case for “the selfish gene”. The point in these books was that our cells predominant reason for existence is to reproduce and in order to perform this function they will do and fight against anything. This consequently makes them “selfish and evil” by nature. The books also claim that we have to develop artificially the concept of “good” to overcome this natural selfishness. To our lecturing physicist this wasn’t very satisfactory reasoning so looked for an answer that was more satisfying to his mind.
His answer eventually came via his daughter. She was full of self confidence, a self confidence born from a total belief in god. She invited her father to attend “An Alpha Course” and from this he really took to the concept that God is one. No having a division between an artificial good and a selfish gene, but a god who can point us in the path of good and righteousness and we only have to look at one idea to see the truth.
He went on to say that a mathematician (I didn’t take in his name) had calculated that for life to be created with the planet having all the right chemicals and atmosphere to sustain life plus the sun, moon and stars to be in their corresponding places, the odds are 1 with billions of zeros after it. The conclusion was that the world and life is too orderly to be created by such chance. The more obvious answer is that a greater force, god created this world and the universe.
He has obviously now become a Christian, following the faith wholeheartedly. Our physicist was also under the impression that such great scientists as Darwin and Isaac Newton were actually religious men too.
I don’t pretend to understand science and the creation of the world, but my understanding of “The Big Bang Theory” of the creation of the universe is that the stars, the planets, the sun and galaxies were all created from a massive nuclear explosion originating from one single atom. My question is, who put the atom there?
Now I’m sure there are many clever people out there who would like to answer that question but even if they can answer it satisfactorily you can still keep asking the “who provided that” question. Eventually there is no logical answer other than god.
I’m sorry if this is all sounding rather heavy. I must admit that I struggled to keep up with a lot of the science bit.
Ultimately a belief in god or a belief and self confidence in oneself is somewhat irrelevant. It is a belief system and a belief in success that will provide the achievements and abundance that we all crave for.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
http://140020.successuniversity.com
www.getselfconfident.com
As science explains more of the working of nature, does this dispel the beliefs around religions and the self confidence they give to millions of people?
Are scientists devoid of faith themselves?
I was at a men’s breakfast not so long ago. This is a meeting of men folk who attend the different Christian churches around the town. Promoting churches together and organising such events allows like minded people to experience the many viewpoints of the differing denominations within a friendly and informal forum. At these men’s breakfasts there is always a talk delivered by somebody who, with self confidence, offer some teachings of the benefits of their religion through their life’s experiences.
This particular talk was by a physicist entitled “An atheist who found religion”. He explained that in his early years as a scientist he was so enveloped by his work that he felt his work had all the answers. Along with all the scientific explanations of how the world functions, his career offered all the trappings of a comfortable lifestyle, and with his self confidence, he had no room in his head or heart for god.
He read and studied a great deal and eventually came across a couple of books that argued the case for “the selfish gene”. The point in these books was that our cells predominant reason for existence is to reproduce and in order to perform this function they will do and fight against anything. This consequently makes them “selfish and evil” by nature. The books also claim that we have to develop artificially the concept of “good” to overcome this natural selfishness. To our lecturing physicist this wasn’t very satisfactory reasoning so looked for an answer that was more satisfying to his mind.
His answer eventually came via his daughter. She was full of self confidence, a self confidence born from a total belief in god. She invited her father to attend “An Alpha Course” and from this he really took to the concept that God is one. No having a division between an artificial good and a selfish gene, but a god who can point us in the path of good and righteousness and we only have to look at one idea to see the truth.
He went on to say that a mathematician (I didn’t take in his name) had calculated that for life to be created with the planet having all the right chemicals and atmosphere to sustain life plus the sun, moon and stars to be in their corresponding places, the odds are 1 with billions of zeros after it. The conclusion was that the world and life is too orderly to be created by such chance. The more obvious answer is that a greater force, god created this world and the universe.
He has obviously now become a Christian, following the faith wholeheartedly. Our physicist was also under the impression that such great scientists as Darwin and Isaac Newton were actually religious men too.
I don’t pretend to understand science and the creation of the world, but my understanding of “The Big Bang Theory” of the creation of the universe is that the stars, the planets, the sun and galaxies were all created from a massive nuclear explosion originating from one single atom. My question is, who put the atom there?
Now I’m sure there are many clever people out there who would like to answer that question but even if they can answer it satisfactorily you can still keep asking the “who provided that” question. Eventually there is no logical answer other than god.
I’m sorry if this is all sounding rather heavy. I must admit that I struggled to keep up with a lot of the science bit.
Ultimately a belief in god or a belief and self confidence in oneself is somewhat irrelevant. It is a belief system and a belief in success that will provide the achievements and abundance that we all crave for.
Terry Norrington
www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index#terryn1
http://140020.successuniversity.com
www.getselfconfident.com
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