Don't Get Angry. Stay in Control of Your Life and Your Optimism.

We all get angry from time to time. It can lower our self esteem and drain us of energy and inspiration. How many of us feel guilty when the red mist forms?

If anger makes us act irrationally, later regretting our words or actions then anger can be perceived as being destructive. But if anger can be controlled and channelled it can be a useful and productive emotion.

So what are the things that make us angry and sap us of all motivation?

The list is enormous but can include some of the following:-

People jumping ahead of us in queues.
Too much work being placed upon us and getting stressed in the process.
Being told off by our superiors at work especially when it is unjustified.
Team members not pulling their weight.
Things going wrong when you have the least time for it.
Being poked fun of.
Being afraid. Anger can be caused by fear.

Some if not all of these will have been experienced at some point or other. http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/audio/anger/index.html#terryn1

Anger is a mechanism stemming from the subconscious mind when defending our rights, things going unexpectedly wrong or we are frightened. The emotion of anger is launched to help us try and regain control of a situation.

Uncontrolled anger can be destructive. Who remembers the episode of “Fawlty Towers” when Basil Fawlty beats his car with a tree branch when it breaks down?

However, suppressing anger can lead to depression. One definition of depression is “anger turned inward”. Suppressed anger will come out in one way or another eventually. This may be in the form of bad dreams, unexplained moodiness or bursts of unexplained anger. Rather than being angry with the boss and going home and taking out on the cat, here are some great techniques that have proved invaluable for controlling anger and regaining some self control and self esteem:-

Control self talk. On the way to work we can be having thoughts like “my boss is going to give me a shed load of work today”. As this thought goes over and over in our minds, the anger grows and by the time we get to work we can be fuming. We need to be practicing positive self talk to keep us calm. Also, after a period of anger, positive self talk can help us to calm down and focus on the present again.
Assertiveness. This is the art of communication that allows us to stand up for our rights without being violent or aggressive. There are many articles and publications that lecture on the subject of assertiveness. http://www.2knowmyself.com/directory/31
Washing Our Face. This may sound odd, but if you are near a wash basin next time you feel angry, give it ago.
Changing our position. If we are standing up when we feel angry, sit down. If we are sitting down then lie down.
Relaxation techniques. By learning to relax we can let go of anger almost at will if relaxation techniques have been practiced often enough that it becomes automatic.
Workout or Run. By working out or running any anger is released without taking it out on the wrong people. We very often find that are performance when working out or running is greatly improved if we are venting off some anger at the same time. http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/audio/anger/index.html#terryn1

Anger can be constructive or destructive. Controlling anger can actually be very beneficial and won’t cause lack of self esteem, self confidence, motivation or optimism. We won’t feel guilty either.

How fantastic is that?

Terry Norrington

http://www.whatisthemeaningoffaith.com

http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk/index.htm#terryn1